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Five Tips for Bonding Over Zoom

By Wendy Nuttelman

Senior Editor, MindEdge Learning

I remember my first Zoom meeting. It was during the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic, and the classes for my master’s degree had suddenly shifted online. My classmates and I hadn’t seen each other in several weeks, and we arrived at our virtual meeting with a sense of excitement and curiosity. And, while we quickly noted the limitations of socializing in a remote setting, we were all grateful for the opportunity that Zoom provided — the chance to connect, to see each other’s faces, and to keep taking classes at a time when the world seemed to be at a standstill. 

Fast-forward a few years, and it’s hard to imagine my life without Zoom. And, though the platform continues to evolve, my initial impression has stayed pretty much the same. Virtual meetings provide a wonderful opportunity to connect with my coworkers around the country. But there are inevitably awkward moments, and building relationships takes some extra time and effort. The good news is that some minor adjustments can improve the quality of these interactions.

Here are five tips that can help you build relationships over Zoom: 

1. Use your camera. It might be tempting to leave your camera off in a group meeting, so colleagues don’t have to see your puffy eyes or messy apartment. But keeping your camera on is the best way to show up and remind others that you’re more than just a fly on the wall. And when you’re speaking, try looking directly into the camera. Career strategist and executive coach Doug Lecester also recommends keeping your Zoom window relatively small and positioning it right beneath your camera to give the impression that you’re making eye contact with the person who’s speaking.

2. Practice active listening. Active listening is a way of hearing and responding to another person to promote mutual understanding. Several techniques used for this communication method lend themselves well to the remote environment: 

  • Eliminate distractions by pausing notifications during the meeting, putting your phone away, and closing any browser windows that don’t need to be open.
  • Use nonverbal communication to show that you’re listening: smile when appropriate, nod, lean forward, and avoid crossing your arms.
  • Avoid interrupting. To compensate for the audio delays that are so common in video conferences, pause for a few seconds after the speaker finishes talking before chiming in. 
  • Paraphrase and ask open-ended questions to encourage the speaker to share more and keep the conversation flowing.

3. Encourage side conversations: Many remote workers say they miss the casual interactions that naturally occur in an office setting. If you’re facilitating a Zoom meeting,  you can encourage participants to share messages in the chat box and use break-out rooms to allow small groups to have unstructured conversations. 

4. Meet one-on-one: If there’s someone with whom you have struggled to connect in a Zoom-gallery sea of faces, meeting them one-on-one can make all the difference. You can invite them for a specific purpose but be sure to leave time for small talk and getting to know each other. Individuals will be much more likely to give you their undivided attention and open up when it’s just the two of you.

5. Keep it short: Research has shown that the added social effort involved in video conferencing leads to the condition known as “Zoom fatigue.” Anyone who has sat through a series of lengthy online meetings is aware of the tendency to become tired and lose focus over time. That’s why, when it comes to Zoom, it’s important to prioritize quality over quantity. Keep your meetings short so that you can stay fully engaged and build better connections. 

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